Quotes

"Kevin LeCun... frisbee chess. Frisbee chess! What's that? 'Bishop to Knight 4'" *random hand gesture*
-Brennan (9/4/03)

"If I'm not here, I expect perfect behavior from the substitute."
-Madame (9/5/03)

"I wish I was a big monkey." -Strangia
"You are." -McKenzie (9/9/03)

"Well you always talk to a baby like 'coochy coo!' You don't get a baby and go 'HEY! I'M ANTHONY! Let's get a beer!" -McKenzie
"Well you've gotta start them off on milk." -Strangia (9/9/03)

"Why else would two heirs marry? Purity of blood..." -Brennan
"HEMOGLOBIN!" -Lauren (9/10/03)

"One other thing I wrote down was... 'night soil'... and its friends..."
-Brennan (9/15/03)

"I love old Shaker women. They just sing and dance and make chairs."
-Stacey (9/16/03)

"Aah! Your chin is so pretty!"
-Chrissy, in response to me having shaved (9/17/03)

"Peut-t-etre."
-Wes (9/17/03)

"It's a bison." -Strangia
"It's a musk ox, dumbass." -McKenzie (9/17/03)

"And then there's a very strange marriage between Richard II and..." -Brennan
"...Charles VI." -Brian Chan (9/22/03)

"Pour etre bon ami, il faut... *30 second pause* ...mignon."
Maggie (9/23/03)

"Alice a etudie apres s'etre reposee." -Madame
"S'etre expose?" -Abby (9/25/03)

"Jackie, quand tu etais jeune, etais tu une enfant obeissante?" -Madame
"Non, quand j'etais jeune, je n'etais pas une enfant obeissante." -Jackie
"Non?!" -Madame
"Wait, doesn't that mean fat?" -Jackie (9/26/03)

"Elle ne dort pas la nuit et a de gros yeux. Quel est cet animal?" -Madame
"Je suis... Madame." -Kevin (me) (9/30/03)

"My pants broke! So I'm listening and showing the pencap down."
-Tara (9/30/03)

"Why is a head at David's feet?" -Brian Chan
"Well, it's right after he slays the dragon... *silence* ... sorry, I'm Disney-ed out..." -Brennan (9/30/03)

"I need someone from the dark side to do this."
-Madame (10/2/03)

"I wish I had smiting capabilities."
-Nick (10/3/03)

"Je vous donne une liste toutes les semaines!" -Madame
"I can't read!" -Hespe (10/8/03)

"If I let go you fall." -Anna
"I'm not asking you to do something totally heinous." -Brennan (10/8/03)

"Book: reading!" -Anna
"Answer: good! You're so Russian sometimes." -Brennan (10/8/03)

"*Winks* This should get 'em quiet. SEX!"
-Weeks (10/9/03)

"It won't happen again Dad."
-Dan to Weeks (10/10/03)

"Dan is doing what he normally does: he's at rest."
-Weeks (10/16/03)

"Thomas?" -Madame
"I was listening to Wes blow his nose." -Thomas (10/21/03)

"Hand with care! Handle with care! *Shakes box*"
-Weeks (10/23/03)

"...Like if somebody vomits all over Tamara in the middle of class you'd say, 'That is so gnarly'."
-Brennan (10/23/03)

"Therefore you're the one that's talking and that makes me throw books."
-Brennan (10/24/03)

"I mean disemboweling people in England is common. It happens all the time."
-Brennan (10/27/03)

"She would use 'w' as a variable instead of 'x.' Isn't that crazy?" -Sileo
"I can only imagine the chaos" -Pat (10/28/03)

"What are some signes particulier?" -Madame
"Une cicatrice!" -Lee-Shing
"Une queue de cheval." -Chrissy
"What's the word for amputation?" -Alaina (11/10/03)

"What's 'mon oeil'?"
"It's like... 'my eye' ...you know, like, 'my butt'?" -Alaina (11/10/03)

"Look at this guy. He's got a broken leg and they're hanging weights and doing experiments on him!"
-Dan (11/12/03)

"I was gonna throw things at you on my way by but I thought 'nah'..."
-Weeks to Mook (11/13/03)

"I play derivatives, he plays X-box." -Sileo
"I think he's got the better deal." -Me (11/24/03)

"Okay, this is what we're going to do... We're going to split the chair in half, and one of you will sit on one half, and the other will sit on the other half." -Madame
"No!" -Chrissy
"We can't do that... my butt's too big!" -Maggie
"See, if you really loved this chair, you would have given it up." -Madame (11/26/03)

"Et qu'est-ce qu'ils font avec ca?" -Alaina
"Ils se boivent!" -Tara (11/26/03)

"You used to stretch out the springs, you didn't even know what you were doing." -Weeks
"I did, I was like 'hah, k!'" -Dan (12/4/03)

"Chrissy, le cadeau n'est pas ici?" -Madame
"Who was it for? A four-year old boy?" -Chrissy
"Yeah, a four-year old boy toy." -Madame (12/4/03)

"LeCun... I bit into it, all the cream exploded into my mouth."
-Ambrosi (12/4/03)

"Nous sommes allees au Simon and Garfunkel hier."
-Hespe (12/5/03)

"Don't you know that I lie?" -Weeks
"But we trusted you." -Jen
"That was your first mistake." -Weeks (12/10/03)

"Sileo would be a pawn."
-Pat, pondering what South-chess would be like (12/11/03)

"Well I don't have all of the powers of JC just yet."
-Pete as a priest (12/11/03)

"It's cold! They're on ice!" -Weeks
"They have no pants." -Rachel
"Is that Pete on the right?" -Dan (12/12/03)

"...and I became... I forget the word... friends!"
-Pete (12/12/03)

"The nun's too clean for me. I like my women dirty." -Abby
"Yeah Strangia! I mean..." -Chris (12/12/03)

"I think I'll fight with Danielle. I'm better at beatin' up girls."
-Weeks (12/18/03)

"You know what's really funny?" -Lee-Shing
"What?" -Me
"Narcolepsy." -Lee-Shing (12/19/03)

"You're a bad Catholic." -Abby
"Why?" -Hespe
"Because you're too happy to be Catholic!" -Abby (12/19/03)

"Can you pass these back? No, you can't. I'm asking the wrong guy."
-Weeks, noticing I am one-handed (1/8/04)

"...looks into a drop of water and what does he see?" -Brennan
"Little beasties." -Lee-Shing (1/9/04)

"How do we know we're not a part of Nick Georgiou's dream?" -Brennan
"There'd be a lot less clothes." -Nick (1/9/04)

"I made up this character... because I don't like anything."
-Pete (1/9/04)

"Clover? You don't know what clover is?" -Brennan
"A leprechaun?" -Anna (1/14/04)

"Stealing... a sailor's... chestnuts."
-Drury (1/20/04)

"DOES ANYONE SPEAK JEWISH?"
-Feng (1/26/04)

"Clementine es la jeune fille." -Hespe
"Non, c'est Kevin." -Madame (1/27/04)

"You're so mean Mr. Grinch."
-Lee-Shing (1/29/04)

"Rachel, what are you selling now?" -Weeks
"Drugs!" -Dan (1/30/04)

"Separated the men from the boys." -Dan
"You hear that? Dan called you all men." -Weeks (1/30/04)

"I don't need a cast to spike... I need stilts!"
-Dan (1/30/04)

"Honors." -Weeks and White
"You too can be special at South." -White (1/30/04)

"Gwendolin loves Becket so much that she kills himself!"
-Xavier (1/30/04)

"What's the Brennan forecast?" -Pat
"Uh... cloudy..." -Mike (2/10/04)

*Throaty noise* "Ms. Pritzlaff, that was my mating call."
-Grosso (2/23/04)

"Yeah but it hurts when you're hit from the rear and you don't expect it."
-Sileo (2/24/04)

"Do you want a virgin bar?"
-Lee-Shing (2/24/04)

"You can't be abstinant and then have like... and abstinance baby?"
-Grosso (2/25/04)

"Alaina, you're hot?"
-Tara (2/25/04)

"I am harmonious..."
-Nick (2/25/04)

"Ketchup and mustard are the same thing"
Drury (2/25/04)

"Oh, look at the little old lady. They have those in Greece too."
-Alaina (2/26/04)

"Pat, why are you violent towards the little things that fly?"
-Sileo (2/26/04)

"Next time you do that I'm sending you directly to hell."
-Xavier (2/26/04)

"It's an energizer mathbook."
-Pincus (9/6/02)

"When you square both sides... *crack* You're gonna break chalk."
-Pincus (9/6/02)

"And then they'll tell you to cut out an ear. Sort of a Van Gogh method."
-Pincus (9/9/02)

"Do you have a sense of humor? If you don't, get one. I think Staples..."
-Pincus (9/10/02)

"If your butt hurts and you're sitting in a hard chair, just buy a bunch of muffins and sit on them."
-Pincus, on the muffins we can buy at school but aren't allowed to eat in class (9/11/02)

"I gotta go spread myself around the school and mingle with the others."
-O'Connell (9/11/02)

"Elle ne mache pas le medecin tres degoutant; elle l'avale tres vite."
-Elyse (9/12/02)

"The 10 c's cancel out. It's also a nice state to visit..."
-Pincus (9/13/02)

"You're easily amused, aren't you?"
John Feng to Pincus (9/13/02)

"The following is aimed at Sophomores, and Freshmen, of the female persuasion..."
-Pincus (9/17/02)

"You guys know what we mean by our Stanleys?"
-Liebert (9/17/02)

"Your home is very dangerous. You can kill yourself at home, you know that?"
-Liebert (9/17/02)

"Uh, there's something wrong with my computer." -Sean Bailey
"There's something wrong with you." -Mansuy (9/17/02)

"Where's my gas around here?"
-Liebert (9/18/02)

"Do you need special shots? He's a republican you know."
-Pincus, on Dubbya (9/19/02)

"Come on Lauren, push!"
-Hespe (9/23/02)

"Man, his mom is hot!"
-Reid (9/24/02)

"I look forward to the afterlife... because Lauren Sekowski isn't there."
-Hespe (9/25/02)

(For the next 3, imagine a physics problem. There is a stick figure human labeled #1 and a ball with feet labeled #2)
"This can be number 2, because he has shorter legs... and no arms." -Weeks (9/25/02)

"You can see that the guy with arms and legs is faster."
-Weeks (9/25/02)

"They won't let him finish, he dies right there!"
-Weeks (9/25/02)

"This problem can show you there's more than one way to skin a cat..." -Weeks
"Eww!" -Random Girl in class (9/25/02)

"If you tell Antonnuci, I'll kick all your asses!"
-Reid (9/26/02)

"If you were ignorant and didn't listen, I'm sorry." -Reid
"Ignorance is bliss." -Lahey (9/26/02)

"See, a spider spins a 'tela de naranja...' Did I say 'naranja?' I meant 'aranga!'"
-Senorita Parks (9/26/02)

"It's an idea. It's not a good idea, but it's an idea..."
-Caldaro, in response to Scott asking for partial credit on a True/False question (9/27/02)

"You're taking 20 points off because I'm an idiot?"
-Scott (9/27/02)

"Human flesh and pointy objects don't mix well."
-Stark (9/29/02)

"Dammit Brujah, put the church down boy! Brujah! *GUNK!*"
-Stark, doing the Book of Nod monologue (9/29/02)

"Et qui travaille dans la librarie?" -Madame
"Huh? Le librairie?" -Hespe (9/30/02)

"...How many widgets of this size you're gonna sell and how many colored widgets you're gonna sell..."
-Pincus (9/30/02)

"Why are you taking that off!? That's gross!"
-Kerry (9/30/02)

"We sent to the Phillipines - I don't know why parents do this - Arthur MacArthur."
-Caldaro (9/30/02)

"Kerry, tell Scott to get out of your pocket!"
-Caldaro (9/30/02)

"I am now prepared to embark on my mission to bullshit my way through the intro and crap my way through the rest."
-Hespe, on his English essay (9/30/02)

"They probably run in them every day." *Pretends the shoe is running* -Greg
"Well, I run in heels." -Weeks (10/1/02)

"I'm standing on the top of a building... with a cape!"
-Weeks (10/1/02)

"I should be your type at any age."
-Strangia, to Liebert (10/1/02)

"I wanna be that guy - he's wearing pants."
-Lahey (10/1/02)

"Blue and yellow make green!"
-Rachel (10/2/02)

"I was practically throwing myself against the wall!" -Thaler
"That's why you have a bad back." -Caldaro (10/2/02)

"The progress reports are going to be high-tech this year. *Softer* Which means you'll all have bad problems."
-Caldaro (10/2/02)

"Mr. Weeks isn't a picky guy." -Allie
"He's not even a guy!" -Greg
"Yeah, I'm a woman trapped in a man's body." -Weeks (10/2/02)

"Negative is that way." -Weeks
"But it doesn't matter!" -Kat
"Well, I say it's this way!" -Weeks (10/2/02)

"Did you go in my purse? You're in trouble mister!"
-Phil (10/2/02)

"Do you have a pass?" -Pincus
"No, I'm sorry, they let us out of gym late." -Lauren Oliver
"Gym who?" -Pincus
"Gym..." -Lauren
"Gymnasium?" -Pincus (10/3/02)

"I know I'm overreacting and I'm being childish now, but I'm enjoying it."
-Pincus (10/3/02)

"People that make little money, pay nothing on taxes. People that make a lot of money pay nothing on taxes. People in between, pay a lot of money on taxes."
-Pincus (10/3/02)

"Equivocate." -Lee-Shing
"Beat around the bush." -Grace
"She's beating you! Around the bush!" -Lee-Shing (10/3/02)

"Yes Pat?" -Liebert
"I'm Dave." -Dave
"Oh I'm sorry Dave, I didn't mean to insult you." -Liebert (10/3/02)

"No I'm not, I'm just an idiot."
-Tormey, in response to being accused of being stoned (10/3/02)

"No bien? What is this, Tarzan Spanish?"
-Jon Lentz (10/4/02)

"Billy, can you please stop drawing on Glenn's elbow?"
-Reid (10/4/02)

"Get outta here, you little smurf!"
-Reid to Stephanie Romano (10/4/02)

"Le Cun est sot parce qu'il n'a pas ses devoirs." -Hespe (10/7/02)

"Je voudrais etre chomeur." -Hespe
"Pourquoi?" -Madame
"Je voudrais habiter dans la rue." -Hespe
"Vraiment?" -Madame
"Je voudrais avoir une tasse et recevoir de la monnaie." -Hespe
"Tres bien, monsieur!" -Madame (10/7/02)

"He [Czar Nicholas II] can't make decisions. He waffles, he waivers, depending on who is talking to him..." -Caldaro
"Sounds like a president I know..." -Thaler (10/9/02)

"Symmetry, symmetwy... *Elmer Fudd laugh*"
-Pincus (10/9/02)

"Madame! Look! Madame est la meilleure!" -Isabel
"Madame, quel mot means suck-up?" -Sean

"Did the copy machine eat Mrs. Caldaro or something? How funny would that be? Can't you imagine it sucking her little body..."
-Thaler (10/15/02)

"There's a bone in my pocket..."
-Rich Clifford (10/15/02)

"Yeah, I was studying for my SATs..." -Irma
"You studied her?" -Lee-Shing
"Yeah, right, I studied her." -Irma
"You sucked her!" -Lee-Shing (10/15/02)

"Those who impress me get special favors..."
-Liebert (10/17/02)

"That's false reporting. We hit nothing but a deer. It just kinda fell in. I was less surprised than Nick; it fell in his lap." -Kothe
"It was drunk!" -Paul
"It's deer mating season... maybe it was overly happy because it just got some." -Kothe (10/18/02)

"You were the only one who got 5." -Pincus
"Can I get points for creativity?" -Jon (10/18/02)

"Adam, where's your book?" -Pincus
"I don't know, I thought I had it." -Adam
"It's over here, you left it in here yesterday." -Pincus (10/18/02)

"That's a real pain in the axis you know!"
-Pincus (10/18/02)

"When you put your hand on me yesterday, did you not feel me shaking?"
-Reid to Cunningham (10/8/02)

"Qui veut jouer a la pelote Basque?"
-Hespe (10/22/02)

"This movie contains a song... which you will be singing... Clementine..."
-Madame (10/22/02)

"Les croissants, les croissants, les croissants..."
-The aforementioned movie (10/22/02)

"It's a... *step* function. That was dumb but I had fun."
-Pincus (10/22/02)

"You haven't lived until you've tasted 0 degree water."
-Liebert (10/22/02)

"...And you put in a dirty Ford..."
-Pincus (10/23/02)

"...And you don't want a quick high, you want a slow burn."
-Liebert (10/24/02)

"Therefore the pizza will be blue, and will be served on mashed potatoes."
-Pincus (10/25/02)

"Not only were they each a different color crayon, but they had to be in a box!"
-Pincus, on a Halloween costume (10/25/02)

"We don't need no stinkin' badges!"
-Title of Hespe's history paper, tribute to "Blazing Saddles" (10/31/02)

*Meredith talking about some random cream-filled candy*
"I'll fill you with cream!" -Kevin (me) (10/31/02)

"Pop goes the weasel!"
-Everyone, in reaction to what happened when Hespe unzipped (10/31/02)

"Every 360 is a revolution! Beatles would be happy."
-Pincus (11/4/02)

"And I don't even have to get out of bed to turn it on."
-Wes (11/11/02)

"Ohhh... I thought that 's'embrasser sur les joues' meant to kiss under the sheets!"
-Brinton (11/12/02)

"Hopefully you won't have a bad latitude about these."
-Pincus (11/12/02)

"Do it Jimmy Carter-style."
-Strangia (11/12/02)

"Elles se promettre les dents."
Madame Dubois (11/13/02)

"I like it, I actually read it."
-Lauren (11/13/02)

"...You have to stick the little ones in."
-Stroever (11/13/02)

"What are you tapping my bun for?"
-Smurf (11/13/02)

"He just likes the punishment? ...Okay, whatever turns him on."
-Liebert (11/13/02)

"Many experiments are now banned from the Chemistry classroom because they kill people."
-Liebert (11/13/02)

"Speaking of brains..." -Liebert
"She's gonna pull one out..." -Sara G (11/13/02)

"Creer par l'extremite du mouton." -Elizabeth
"That's not very appropriate..." -Madame Dubois
"It was a high-pressure situation!" -Elizabeth (11/14/02)

"That's like Lexuses or... I should say: Lexi..."
-Strangia (11/14/02)

"Could you imagine being rammed from behind by something heavy?"
-Liebert (11/14/02)

"Did you germulate in my drink?"
-Rachel (11/18/02)

"What Lauren?" -Caldaro
"You're just, like, scary..." -Lauren (11/18/02)

"Dana Petrocelli glows in the dark."
-Mansuy (11/18/02)

"He's worth 104 million dollars. I'd go home and be fuzzy with him."
-Strangia (11/19/02)

"I was bored on the five-day weekend, so I was looking over the list..." -Lauren, about a History vocab list
"Lauren, you need to get a life." -Caldaro (11/20/02)

"I would kill him... with my tongue."
-Liebert (11/25/02)

"Oh, I get it!" -Elsa
"Elsa, what would I do without you?" -Will (11/26/02)

"By the way if I were a queen, I would have you beheaded."
-Liebert (11/26/02)

"Je suis reste chez moi pour donner le gratification."
-Chrissy (12/2/02)

"...That could bring through world peace..." -Caldaro
"Hah!" -Hespe (12/3/02)

"What is that thing? Is that a drill?" -Strangia
"It's a laser gun..." -Ryan (12/3/02)

"They're not smushy because they have stuff in them."
-Hespe (12/4/02)

"You've got all your baseballs..."
-Liebert (12/4/02)

"You love it. That's the reason I do it."
-Liebert (12/4/02)

"...And the contraceptive melted where?" -Strangia
"On the guy's cock. So it got stuck." -Hespe
"On the mountain?" -Strangia (12/9/02)

"...And it gets put into a jar of pickles, right?"
-Strangia (12/9/02)

"Keep his pants on!"
-Philpot (12/9/02)

"Oh well, life sucks sometimes." -Pincus
"Sometimes?" -Everyone (12/10/02)

"...The uh, Bottlecrappers..."
-Pincus (12/10/02)

"Well, they're insane." -Jon Feng
"No, they're North." -Pincus (12/10/02)

"The minute you walk in here, you turn yourselves on."
-Liebert (12/10/02)

"Where are you, beautiful equation?"
-Liebert (12/10/02)

"Notice I'm dotilizing... dotting everything."
-Pincus (12/11/02)

"Negative pi, zero, positive pi, apple pie..."
-Pincus (12/12/02)

"Have you ever heard of a hot body?" -Liebert
"Yeah baby!" -Kothe (12/16/02)

"During the darkness, you may not feel somebody else."
-Liebert (12/16/02)

"You failed the hot body test."
-Liebert (12/16/02)

"We should play... pin the tail on the spectrum!"
-Dave K (12/17/02)

"J'ai recu un CD de ma groupe favorite - Foo Fighters." -Abby
"Food Fighters?" -Madame
"FOO FIGHTERS!" -Abby (1/2/03)

"Why, they left a price on my children?"
-Madame (1/6/03)

"My chalk broke... *TONG* ...My chalk is having a Monday."
-Pincus (1/6/03)

"I think Mrs. Thaler's going to beat the crap out of some kid..."
-Caldaro (1/6/03)

"We are actually talking about Chemistry." -Sara H
"...But not the type of Chemistry I study." -Liebert (1/6/03)

"Can I have someone be narrator? How about some of our young ladies?" -Madame
"I'll do it." -Kevin (me) (1/7/03)

"Il m'appelle une 'wench' tout le temps."
-Em, on Hespe (1/7/03)

"I come from a different place at a different time." -Liebert
"Yeah, Texas." -Strangia (1/7/03)

"Mother Nature is a mathematician!"
-Liebert (1/7/03)

"...And we have a sea of Daves out there."
-Liebert (1/8/03)

"I want a hard one!"
-Elyse (1/9/03)

"Come here, Hespe. I wanna kiss it."
-Brian Chan (1/9/03)

"I'm doing the other classes's first." -Caldaro
"They're stupid!" -Lauren (1/10/03)

"Woof woof."
-Caldaro (1/10/03)

"Is the atom happy?"
-Liebert (1/10/03)

"Sara, take this to your leader."
-Stroever to Sara H (1/13/03)

"Hespe, come here and touch my eye..."
-Chan (1/13/03)

"J'ai cligne de l'oeil a M. Bean parce qu'il est tres mignon. Okay 1.9" -Madame
"1.9!? Madame! She could be doing anything to Mr. B!" -Hespe
"No no no! Emilie est une bonne fille...!" -Madame (1/13/03)

"L'ecureuil a cache mes noix."
-Kevin (me) (1/13/03)

"I think you guys need to be seing a shrink..."
-Liebert (1/15/03)

"Mr. Lane... he's a mole."
-Rich Clifford (1/15/03)

"Dans deux jours, mon prof pleuvra."
-Chrissy (1/16/03)

"*Rires*" -Texte
"C'mon, where's my girls?" -Madame
"Hahahaha!!!... wait..." -Brian Chan (1/16/03)

"Every time she sees me, she asks me what that word is, and of course, I say no!" -Madame
"What is it?" -Kevin (me)
"No!" -Madame
"What if I say all the bad words I know..." -Kevin (me)
"No!" -Madame (1/21/03)

"Do the ASS!"
-Jon Feng (1/21/03)

"Trahissez le charbonnier!"
-Madame (1/24/03)

"I don't want to be an enabler..." -Liebert
"Right! You want to help us drink!" -Rich Clifford (1/31/03)

"I wasn't sure if you were erasing the book with your ear, or..."
-Pincus (2/3/03)

"We have Saturday and Sunday off?" -Sara
"Yes, that's amazing. I just found out last Friday." -Liebert (2/3/03)

"I can't even hear Rachel!" -Liebert
"It's because you're wearing goggles." -Philpot (2/6/03)

"When I left here on Thursday, the hexane was in the hood."
-Liebert (2/10/03)

"Interessant, Madame. 'Elles' est pluriel et il y a 'un lit'..."
-Hespe (2/21/03)

"And for those of you who say 'Oh, he speaks French, that's why he got an 800,' did you get an 800 on the English SAT II?" -Madame
"Dude, if there was an English SAT II... for 'talking English'... I would ace it!" -Brian Chan
"Yeah, that's perfect English right there." -Kevin (me) (2/21/03)

"Now I have a driveway that's been fertilized."
-Liebert (2/21/03)

"...It's the lowest point on your flower... that was awful, even for me."
-Pincus (2/25/03)

"Today we are going to learn about strippers!" *Starts to dance*
-Liebert (2/27/03)

"You know what's a shame? Kurt Cobain is still dead."
-Strangia (2/28/03)

"...I am god." -Kevin (Me) "Yeah, well, we all have our faults." -Justin (3/8/03)

"Did you know you could die in a crash?"
-Liebert (3/12/03)

"Oh my god! I'm gonna get a 100 on the SATs!"
-Carla (3/17/03)

"You can have a chemical burn or a boiling water burn." -Liebert
"Can we choose?" -Rich Clifford (3/18/03)

"My infinity's bigger than yours is!"
-Pincus (3/20/03)

"She said the paper kept jamming. It must have been a Jamaican machine... 'we be jammin'.'"
-Pincus (3/28/03)

"Remain sane at all times. Any insanity will automatically result in a zero..."
-Liebert (4/10/03)

"Sara did use a chair instead of sit in Stacey's lap."
-Liebert (4/10/03)

"I was NOT the pygmy-lover."
-Caldaro (4/14/03)

"... No, the Jedi are priests." -Hespe
"Dude... fame, fortune, little boys... a Jedi craves not these things." -Strangia (4/16/03)

"Mais... c'est parce que Madame est bon marche... Oh, my command of French is so formidable."
-Lee-Shing (4/27/03)

"Yes, there was an abbey that's known for it's fruitcakes!"
-Liebert (5/6/03)

"Why did you take my finger?"
-Caldaro (5/8/03)

"You have to give Bush credit though, for being a president 24/7. That's right, 24 hours a week, 7 months a year."
-Deirdre (5/8/03)

"I wanted to just take the kid's clothes off. He looked so hot!"
-James Romeo

"Girls are like sadistic, medieval torturers!"
-McKenzie (10/01/01)

"Feel yourself. Go ahead, everyone, feel yourself!"
-Easton (10/16/01)

"The land of the free! Heh! That's anarchy!"
-McKenzie (10/24/01)

"10000 acres! Isn't that bigger than Great Adventure?"
-Noel (10/24/01)

"Is it difficult or hard to be a representative?"
-McKenzie (2/12/02)

"Let's say the president eats too many pretzels, chokes, and dies."
-McKenzie (2/14/02)

"C'mon, you've gotta have the Bushes around, I mean, Bush senior vomited all over the Japanese ambassador, Dubbya chokes on a pretzel, daughters are into drugs..."
-McKenzie (2/14/02)

"The original projectile of vomit was continuous."
-McKenzie (2/14/02)

"Do you know about the Curse of Tecumseh? Doo do doo doo doo do doo do... (Twilight Zone)"
-McKenzie (2/14/02)

"Lemme give you all the dope right now."
-McKenzie (2/14/02)

"Oh, I'm all about New Jersey."
-Nick (2/15/02)

"What does money buy?" -McKenzie
"Happiness."
"Opportunity."
"Education." -Random People
"Drugs!" -Noel (2/25/02)

"Hemmings was, in fact, Jefferson's chamber slave..." *pause, silence, restrained laughter* "...I didn't mean it that way..."
-McKenzie (2/28/02)

"How many of you have spent a couple of nights, or a night, in that magical place?"
-McKenzie (3/4/02)

"So I'm looking at pictures of guys..."
-McKenzie (3/4/02)

"As I get to know students better, they become more attractive to me..."
-McKenzie (3/4/02)

"What's her name... is it Clarissa? That lady on that show?"
-McKenzie (3/4/02)

"Today, you will be taking a love test. We will be testing your romance levels."
-Strauss (3/7/02)

"Please listen to Sneezy, here!"
-Strauss (3/7/02)

"Jenna, are you going to work, or are you just going to have kids?"
-Strauss (3/7/02)

"I see Peter as leading an armed rebellion..."
-Strauss (3/7/02)

"Susan will be a librarianist."
-Strauss (3/7/02)

"Jameson... will be a playboy. He'll have a yacht and a pony... and he'll swim with the pony... and ride his yacht in the mountains... oh, it's so confusing."
-Strauss (3/7/02)

"Tissue! Dave, I hardly know you!"
-Strauss (3/7/02)

*Girly voice* "I need some lotion!"
-Nick (3/9/02)

"Why Cathleen, you're very red, white, and blue today." -McKenzie
"Well, just red and blue." -Easton
"White undies, eh?" -McKenzie (3/11/02)

"I think she added wrong. Look, 100 + 4 equals 100."
-Sarah (3/12/02)

"The 30s, 40s, and 50s made the 60s look like the 50s."
-McKenzie (3/14/02)

"You're it, no tagbacks." -Wes to Kevin (me)
"You're it, no tagbacks." -Kevin to Chris
"You're it, no tagbacks." -Chris to Lee-Shing
"You're it, no tagbacks." -Lee-Shing to Uma
"You're it, no tagbacks." -Uma to Sarah
'What?" -Sarah (3/14/02)

"See, if Hespe was a little sleazy..."
-McKenzie (3/20/02)

"Let's say Quailboy flies into town to save us from evil Hespe..."
-McKenzie, on Coleman and Hespe (3/20/02)

"Debasement of political tones..." -McKenzie
"Haha! He said 'da basement'!" -Wes (3/28/02)

*Easton hands McKenzie something* "You found it? You borrowed it?" -McKenzie
"Uh..." *rolls eyes, hums* -Easton
"You stole it? Good girl!" -McKenzie (3/28/02)

"Have you ever seen C-Span? Look how the people dress! Not designer suits, not expensive ties..." -McKenzie
"Not McKenzie ties?" -Sara H. (3/28/02)

"Mr. McKenzie! I saw President Bush on TV yesterday!" -Noel
"That's nice." -McKenzie (4/1/02)

"Oh, eh! I know the answer!" -Strangia
"Anthony, I know you're there, don't wet your pants." -McKenzie
"It's just that I love being in your class so much, Mr. McKenzie." -Strangia
"I know the type, Anthony, my daughter's just like you." -McKenzie
"She wets her pants too?" -Strangia (4/1/02)

"Sally and T.J! Let's put a heart around them!"
-McKenzie (4/3/02)

"I can afford a $10000 dress and you can't!"
-McKenzie (4/3/02)

"I watch the Fashion Channel, with the runways and stuff..." -Ashley
"Me too!" -McKenzie
"So does Brian Chan!" -Hespe (4/3/02)

"What's your topic?" -McKenzie
"The Donner Party." -Kendyll
"Yum, yum, that's a delicious topic." -McKenzie (4/3/02)

"What happened to the ceramics course?!" -Easton
"I know! I would take ceramics, and make clay bunnies!" -Ashley (4/8/02)

"You don't know - maybe some of you will marry each other..." -Easton
"Dibs on Meredith." -Nick (4/8/02)

"Whitman writes about 'A noiseless, patient spider'... have you ever seen a spider? Have you ever seen a swarm of spiders? Or spiders talking? Huh? -Easton
"Um, we're forgetting about Charlotte's web here..." -Nick (4/8/02)

"You know people are freaked out when they run into spider webs? I love running into spider webs!" -Easton
"Yeah, she collects spider webs and places it on her face, and whenever she sees spider webs, she makes a wild run for it and dashes into it." -Dave and Nick (4/8/02)

"You know love... your first love. Science just can't explain the feeling. I mean, then you learn in Human Anatomy about Body Part A and Body Part B..." -Easton
"You know, just take A and B, and kinda rub them together..." -Nick
"Put the train in the tunnel!" -Dave (4/8/02)

"The best way to learn about Whitman and 'Leaves of Grass' is to just go out and just lay on the grass..." -Easton
"With McKenzie..." -Nick (4/8/02)

"You see, Thoreau was quite an intergalactic traveler, wasn't he?"
-McKenzie (4/9/02)

"Hespe, leave Meredith and her purse alone. You can have your own purse when you grow up someday."
-McKenzie (4/9/02)

"The Girl Corner - it's not a gender issue, it's a mindset."
-McKenzie (4/9/02)

"The policy... WONK."
-McKenzie (4/9/02)

"They called it a Wang-Doodling..."
-McKenzie (4/9/02)

"I gotta come to the Girl Corner here and get some action!"
-McKenzie (4/9/02)

"Quailboy? You wanna say something?" -McKenzie
"It's Quailman now. It recently changed." -Coleman
"Oh?" -McKenzie
"Yeah, I took a trip to the Girl Corner." -Coleman
"Oh, so it really is Quailman!" -McKenzie
"Yup." -Coleman
"Don't you wish..." -McKenzie
"Hm?" -Coleman
"Quailstud." -McKenzie (4/10/02)

*Asking a question* "Kevin?" -McKenzie
"What was the question?" -Kevin (me)
"Good night, Le Cun. Hespe?" -McKenzie
"Whuuuut?" -Hespe
"Go back to sleep, Hespe." -McKenzie (4/12/02)

"So the next time you look out in your backyard and look down upon that Guatemalan or Mexican working, remember that's your grandfather or grandmother."
-McKenzie (4/12/02)

"I remember getting off the train in York, and walking down the street, and asking my dad, 'what's that smell,' and he said..." -McKenzie
"I farted. Sorry, son." Lee-Shing (4/12/02)

"Anthony! He's on the top 5 list! You're not!"
-McKenzie to Strangia (4/12/02)

"I see each leeeaaf... I see each treee..."
-Easton (4/12/02)

"And the song they have playing in the background is 'I'm A Living Man.'" -Easton, on Occurance at Owl Creek Bridge
"Not 'Stayin' Alive?'" -Strangia (4/12/02)

"Stop touching little kids!" *Grabs McKenzie by the neck and drags him out of class*
-Policeman Guy (4/13/02)

"I just don't like my dad. I don't enjoy him!"
-Sara H. (4/15/02)

"I'll open my hamburger shop - McKenzie's Hamburgers, or Doug's Big Burgers - and I'll employ the Girl Corner to bus trays and wait tables - no wait, they'll drive customers away..."
-McKenzie (4/15/02)

"Who here has ever been in a bus accident?" -McKenzie
"I have." -Sara H.
"No, you haven't." -McKenzie
"Hey, someone threw a golf ball at me!" -Sara H.
"My bus driver got into a car accident." -Tamara (4/17/02)

"You made that statistic up." -McKenzie
"OK, but..." -Lauren (4/17/02)

"The point is, aren't we all addicted to speed?"
-McKenzie (4/17/02)

"Promiscuous means 'not discriminitating.'" -Easton
"So I could say 'My mother is promiscuous'...?" -Strangia
"You'd have to say 'My mother is promiscuous in the way she treats all people.'" -Easton
"Um, that's not much better." -Strangia (4/17/02)

"That would be so cool if I had black blood... I would like, cut myself."
-Em (4/17/02)

"...Crazy little radical ladies..."
-McKenzie (4/22/02)

"I am the best."
-Mr. Lane (4/23/02)

"Who's your daddy? I'm your daddy."
-Mr. Lane (4/23/02)

"I bet he writes research papers in his sleep!"
-Easton, on McKenzie (4/23/02)

"That's my leg! Gimme back my leg!"
-O'Connell (4/25/02)

"Did you enjoy doing all those legs? You got stuff all over the floor..."
-Mrs. Craig (4/25/02)

"I found the sine of the stupid angle instead of the..."
-Garra (5/1/02)

"Mr. Marion didn't tell you?! He'll be severely punished..."
-McKenzie (5/1/02)

"It's 1:59 folks... do you know where your children are? No, and I don't care!"
-Madame (5/1/02)

"That's quite a belt you got there, Hayley. Like a lifting belt, pump you up."
-McKenzie (5/2/02)

"Gotta hit my spot right, too."
-McKenzie (5/2/02)

"There ain't no holes 'n me 'cept the ones that were intended."
-Random Soldier, Red Badge of Courage (5/6/02)

"Go France!"
-Wes (5/6/02)

"You aren't gonna find any bodyparts here..."
-Madame (5/6/02)

"I need my pull-down map and it's not here... well, dammit."
-McKenzie (5/7/02)

"I was testing out my touching skills." -O'Connell
"I'll touch you!" -Craig (5/7/02)

"She's an alcoholic foot fetish!"
-Liz (5/7/02)

"My voice hurts."
-Tormey (5/8/02)

"How big is my latus rectum?"
-Coffey (5/8/02)

"I would probably find my latus rectum..."
-Coffey (5/8/02)

"Mexico went through Californian governors the way you guys eat cereal, kids chew cereal, Cheerios, Froot Loops..."
-McKenzie (5/8/02)

"Will the real Henry Clay please stand up!"
-McKenzie (5/8/02)

"Look, she's dying. Let's all point and laugh." -Kevin (me)
"Hahahahah!" -Lee-Shing (5/8/02)

"Blow, Gabriel, blow."
-The Musical (5/9/02)

"I'm your dentist, open up I'm coming."
-Paul Syracuse (5/9/02)

"Why do they get a little room together?"
-Leslie, on Bio teachers (5/9/02)

"What's on me? It's all over me isn't it? I got it all over my shirt."
-Hayley (5/9/02)

"Men came 40 miles over the mountains just to see me."
-Some woman on History video (5/10/02)

"Girls flocking around me..." -Guy on video
"Sounds like Quailman..." -McKenzie (5/10/02)

"Quailboy... man... stud..."
-McKenzie (5/10/02)

"You want the hard one now?"
-Tony (5/10/02)

"It's better to be low than high."
-Craig (5/13/02)

"Wait 'till you see his body..." -Leslie
*Sarcasm* "Yeah, she definitely wants to see his body." -Kevin (me) (5/13/02)

"Boys and girls and... children of all ages..."
-McKenzie (5/15/02)

"You can touch him."
-McKenzie, on Coleman (5/15/02)

"Stop doing that, I'm going to be sticky all day."
-Ambrosi (5/15/02)

"You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha!"
-Laura and Rachel (5/16/02)

"Are they long and hard?"
-Wes (5/16/02)

"It has to be pumped harder."
-Victor (5/16/02)

"It comes out as like a gulp."
-Hayley (5/16/02)

"Your sister thinks that my brother is annoying and my brother thinks that your sister is annoying. I think they're in love."
-Bev (5/16/02)

"I'm trying to get it up..."
-Dave (5/17/02)

"Hickey?" -Rob
"Sucking." -Tom (5/17/02)

"Mook, you have to come up behind."
-Gevarter (5/20/02)

"Doc, please tell them who I am..." -King Hemo on Bio video
"Luke, I am your father." -Kevin (me) (5/20/02)

"You know that is see-through, right?"
-Margaret (5/21/02)

"You made yourself well known by d-dering around the halls."
-Security Guard, to Pachuta (5/21/02)

"I keep folding it up but I'm afraid I'm gonna break it."
-O'Connell (5/21/02)

"Just close your eyes and put it in your mouth."
-Ambrosi (5/23/02)

"We'll just leave them in bed and you can wonder about that..."
-Easton (5/24/02)

"I was led to believe that yeah, it gets bigger when it has more work to do."
-Victor Katsman (5/24/02)

"...Because you know what? It's making me high."
-Mrs. Anderson (5/28/02)

"Do you want to borrow my crank?"
-McKenzie to some froshie (5/28/02)

"...Your mom has the best five things!"
-Wes (5/31/02)

"So that's the reason I want to have Kligman's children."
-Hespe (5/31/02)

"Kerry, go sit in the back of the room and look at the wall."
-Craig (6/3/02)

"I only envy Mrs. Craig's hair..."
-Smith (6/5/02)

"Okay guys... women... and anything in between..."
-Craig (6/5/02)

"Is your name Hayley?" -McKenzie
"It's close..." -Dave
"Operations can handle that." -McKenzie (6/7/02)

*Plays with overhead projector* "Look, it's like Star Wars."
-McKenzie (6/11/02)

"Elsa, go up with Potter sometime and take a whiff..."
-McKenzie (6/13/02)

"How do you keep it fresh?" -Noel
"Well you keep them alive..." -McKenzie (6/13/02)

"Pat, whip out one of those big Schongoes."
-Scott (6/17/02)

"I don't remember exploring under a curve..." -Adam
"I don't remember exploring on top of a curve." -Mook (6/17/02)

"Your paper rounded out nicely considering how bad it was..."
-McKenzie (6/19/02)

"The 1:1:square root of 2 triangle..." -Mrs. Anderson
"Oh! I thought it was the 1:1:2 triangle!" -Scott
*Silently* "Well, guess you were WRONG Scott." -Wes

"You make a bootleg not out of a boot, not out of a leg, but out of a movie theatre."
-Wes

"She wasn't parling!"
-Em

"It smells like wood in here..." -Hayley
"Yeah, sorry." -O'Connell

"It is poking out, I'm looking at it!"
-Hayley

"Sex is not the answer, sex is the question. Yes is the answer."
-Bathroom Graffiti

"If you're hungry you eat it hard."
-Hespe

"That's how I determine where my period is."
-Coffey

"It hurts like a bitch!" -Noel
"She would know what it hurts like..." -Lee-Shing

"I love him and I'm gonna marry him and I'm gonna have 10000 of his babies!"
-Noel

"Once you starts seeing pi's..." -Coffey
"Mmm... pie." -Kevin (me)

"Stop jacking it off!" -Kevin (me)
"It's foaming..." -Ambrosi

"It's getting all hard and stuff."
-Oliver

*Noel talking about some random dumb thing*
"Stab stab stab!" -Kevin (me)
"Got any duct tape?" -Wes
"New rule: Noel is no longer allowed to talk." -Kevin

"Take up knitting." -Anderson
"Ew, that's for like old women." -Scott

"We call that..." -McKenzie
"...The Second Great Awakening." -McKenzie and Lee-Shing

"Hespe, I need your butt down here."
-McKenzie

"I hate this..."
-John Feng (Every Day)

"Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted."
-Nick

"There is no such thing as Kevin Le Cun, there is just a mass of hair..."
-Lee-Shing

"Resolutions are not the answer."
-Richard Nixon

"I grew up in California, I practically lived in Phoenix."
-Dan Quayle

"I like my job. It lets me travel to places overseas like Canada."
-Britney Spears

"Let's roll."
-G. W. Bush (1/29/02)

"Terrorists hate America because America is a land of freedom and opportunity. We intend to attack the root causes of terrorism."
-G.W. Bush

"Move not unless you see an advantage; use not your troops unless there is something to be gained; fight not unless the position is critical."
-Sun Tzu

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing... But it pales in comparison to the danger created by ignorance... Ignorance... the opiate of the masses... and the most destructive force in existence."
-Jaster Mereel

"This sort of behavior is left to the psychotic, dogmatic, fundamentalist believers you see on your TV every day letting off bombs and killing people in the name of god. Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. Believe in nothing."
-Maynard

"Believe me when I say that the threat of me running around in a completely non-threatening manner is quite real."
-Stark

"The lightbulbs... why the lightbulbs?" -Trell
"Because there are no spoons. Why else?" -Innle

"You're the king? Well, I didn't vote for you."
-Human Peasant

"I can't shoot straight unless I've had a pint! Oh, there's me drink. Get in mah belly!"
-Dwarven Rifleman

"My favorite color is blue. No, yellowwwwwww!"
-Human Knight

"Could ya put some bonus points in my drinking skill?"
-Dwarven Mountain King

"Side effects may include dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, water retention, painful rectal itch, hallucination, dementia, psychosis, coma, death, and halitosis. Magic is not for everyone. Consult your doctor before use."
-Elven Priest

"Clearly Tassadar has failed us. You must not!"
-Dwarven Mortar Team

"I said a bow string, not a G... *sighs* Nevermind."
-Elven Archer

"Darkness called... but I was on the phone so I missed him. I tried to *69 Darkness but his machine picked up. I yelled 'pick up the phone Darkness!' but he ignored me. Darkness must have been screening his calls."
-Demon Hunter

"My father was mounted over someone's fireplace."
-Keeper of the Grove

"I don't reveal much on the mini-map. It's all my fault!"
-Dryad

"I'll attract the enemy with my human call. 'I'm so wasted, I'm so wasted!'"
-Dryad

"Only you can prevent forest fires"
Druid of the Claw

"All I see is blackness! Oh, my hood's down"
-Undead Acolyte

"My life for Aiur! Uh, I mean Ner'zhul."
-Undead Acolyte

"I hate people. But I love gatherings."
-Death Knight

*Cell phone rings* "Yes? Arrgh, for the last time: I'm a DREAD Lord not a Drug Lord."
-Dread Lord

"Dressed to kill, bleh!"
-Dread Lord

*Cell phone rings* "Yes? Darkness, hey, what's up? The Demon Hunter left you a message? No, I don't have his number."
-Dread Lord

"I'm so poor, I don't even have calcium deposits."
-Lich

"All the ladies dig rigor mortis."
-Lich

"You are the weakest lich, goodbye!"
-Lich

"My ass always gets bloated during my spin cycle."
-Nerubian Crypt Fiend

"I love the dead... frequently."
-Undead Necromancer

"Right click, for hot undead action!"
-Undead Necromancer

"We come in piece...es."
-Undead Abomination

"I'm having a mid-death crisis."
-Undead Shade

"Me no sound like Yoda, do I? *Sings* It's not easy, being green."
-Orc Grunt

"My-a blade can cut through armor... and still cut a tomato!"
-Orc Blademaster

"Twin blade action! For clean, close shave every time."
-Orc Blademaster

"Only two things come from Texas... and I've got horns."
-Tauren Chieftan

"Hey, what are these letters burned on my ass?"
-Tauren

"Soylent Green is made from Trolls!"
-Troll Witch Doctor

"'Takui-san!'"
"'Yes, go ahead.'"
"'What the Iron Troll is doing now is putting heads in a pot. They have to boil for 20 minutes, so the eyes can be used in a second dish, an eye and raspberry sorbet.'"
"'Ooh, sounds good!'"
-Troll Witch Doctor

"Peter, I can fly!"
- Orc Wyvern Rider